Quickies
Chicken RunWhy does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
This guy walks into a doctor's office, he says "Doc, I think I'm shrinking . . . I think I'm getting a little smaller every day."
The doctor replies, "I think you'll have to be a little patient."
A doctor is treating a man's broken arm. The man asks, "Will I ever be able to play the violin again.
The doctor replies, "Sure, I don't see why not."
The man says, "That's interesting . . . I've never been able to play the violin before."
How do you make a Maltese Cross?
Steal his car
What happens when an orange gets sunburned?
The orange peels.
Two fish are in a tank
One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
Two birds are sitting on a perch
One says to the other, "Do you smell fish?"
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Hey, where's my tractor?"
What's brown and sticky?
A stick
Some bacon and eggs walked into a bar. Do you know what the bartender said to them?
"We don't serve breakfast here"
This man was walking down the street. He had a banana sticking out of each ear.
A little boy walked up to the man and said, "Hey mister, you have bananas in your ears.
The man replied, "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."
So I'm sending her a full-length picture of myself.
A guy walks into a bar.
"Ouch," he says.