Sayings that Should be on Buttons

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.

I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.

Friendly checkout clerk. Thanks for keeping me that way.

If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.

I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

A PBS mind in an MTV world.

Allow me to introduce my selves.

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?

How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

Earth is full. Go home.

I refuse to star in your psychodrama.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.