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20 Ways to Annoy your Public Bathroom Stallmate

1. Stick your hand under the stall and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?”
2. Say, “Uh-Oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that.”
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time someone breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, “Hmmm, I’ve never seen that colour before.”
5. Drop a marble and say, “Oh my God! My glass eye!”
6. Say, “Damn this water is cold!”
7. Grunt and strain for 30 seconds and then drop a canelope into the toilet bowl and sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, “Now how did that get here?”
9. Say, “Humus. Reminds me of humus.”
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls and say, “Whoa, easy boy!”
11. Say, “Interesting, more floaters than sinkers.”
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor and say, ”Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?”
13. Say, “C’mon Mr. Happy, don’t fall asleep on me now!”
14. Say, “Boy, that sure looks like a maggot!”
15. Say, “Damn, I knew that drain hole looked a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?”
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay your “Cross-Dressers Anonymous” newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall so you can see your neighbor and say, “Peek-a-boo!”
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing “Born Free.”
20. Give a frustrated sigh and say, "Never a powerpoint (outlet) when you want one".