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More Quickies


Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him very frail. And with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him what?

A super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.


Someone once said, "No man is an island."

But haven't they heard of the Isle of Man?


Do you know how copper wire was invented?

No, how?

Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.


An electric guitar makes sounds when electricity runs through it.

So would anyone.


Do you know what God said when he first saw Niagara Falls?

"Oh My Self."

Problem dialing 911

I can't dial 911 with the phone I have. The phone I have doesn't have an 11.

Help from the psychiatrist

This guy goes to a psychiatrist, "Doc, I want to know what my problem is. Some nights, when sleeping, I dream that I'm a teepee. And some nights I dream that I'm a wigwam. Can you help me?"

The psychiatrist answers, "I think your problem is that you are too tense."