Quotes
Have you noticed that irons have a setting for "permanent press."Why?
If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I put them in the same room and watch them fight it out.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
I saw a bank that said if offered 24 Hour Banking." But I didn’t go in. I didn’t have that much time.
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world - - perhaps you have seen it.
I find it difficult to reminisce with people I don't know.
Right now I am having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
What's another word for Thesaurus?
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
Do you think that, when they asked George Washington for ID, he simply showed them a quarter?
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
"It's déjà vu all over again!"
When talking about a favorite restaurant in St. Louis, "Nobody goes to my favorite restaurant anymore. It's too crowded."
"We made too many wrong mistakes"
"90% of the game is half mental"
"The only reason I need gloves is because of my hands"
"Pair up in threes"
"I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4"
"If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping"
"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours"
"I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question"
"I didn't really say everything I said"