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A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

A young child is a noise with dirt on it.

Familiarity breeds children.

For adult education, nothing beats children.

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

Having children will turn you into your parents.

Insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids.

Ill-bred children always display their pest manners.

It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.

One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many.

The best thing to spend on your children is time.

Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

You can learn many things from how much patience you thought you had.

If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.