Lawyer Jokes

How was copper wire invented?
Two lawyers were arguing over a penny.

Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
Cats keep trying to bury them.

Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?
Because deep down, they're really good people.

What do you call 100 lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A tick falls off of you when you die.

Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand? Not enough sand.
How can you tell when lawyers are lying?
Their lips are moving.

Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
New Jersey got to pick first.

How do you save a drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head.

What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances?
Retired.

What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A Doberman.