Things You Will Never Hear A Redneck Say, No Matter How Much They've Had To Drink...

"Honey, we don't need another dog."
"I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex."
"Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken."
"We don't keep firearms in the house."
"No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe."
"Wrestlin's fake."
"Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace."
"We're vegetarians."
"No, I'll pass on the biscuits and gravy."
"Spittin is such a nasty habit."
"I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today."
"Trim the fat off that steak."
"The tires on that truck are too big."
"I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl."
"Checkmate."
"Those shorts outta be a little longer, darlin'"
"Nope, no more for me, I'm drivin'"