Women and Dogs
HOW WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS1. It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman.
2. Women look good in sweaters.
3. Women leave the room to fart.
4. Though they only have two, women's breasts are far more interesting.
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN1. Dogs don't cry.
2. Dogs love it when your friends come over.
3. Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
4. Dogs think you sing great.
5. A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
6. Dogs don't expect you to call them when you are running late.
7. The later you are the more excited dogs are to see you.
8. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
9. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
10. Dogs are excited by rough play.
11. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
12. Dogs understand that farts are funny.
13. Dogs love red meat.
14. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
15. Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
16. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
17. Dogs don't shop.
18. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
19. A dog's disposition remains the same all month long.
20. Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
21. A dog's parents never visit.
22. Dogs love long car trips.
23. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
24. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made be hunted.
25. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you, you can shoot it.
26. Dogs like beer.
27. No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie and the Blowfish album.
28. No dog ever put on 100 lb. after reaching adulthood.
29. Dogs never criticize.
30. Dogs never expect gifts.
31. It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
32. Dogs don't worry about germs.
33. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
34. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk and the back of your sock drawer.
35. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
36. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry.
37. Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
38. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.