Bits And Pieces

1. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
2. I AM in shape. Round is a shape.
3. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
4. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark, professionals built the Titanic.
5. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
6. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
7. Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
8. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
9. An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears this is true.
10. There is always death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.
11. I don't mind going nowhere, as long as it's an interesting path.
12. In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
13. I always wanted to be a procrastinator, but never got around to it.
14. My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
15. I am having an "out of money" experience.
16. Practice safe eating - always use condiments
17. A day without sunshine is like-------night!
18. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
19. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster
20. It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
21. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time; but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
22. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever!!!!!
23. Age doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone.
24. Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
25. You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.