You know you're Gonna Have a Bad Day if...

Your manager calls you into the office on a Friday

Every job lead you have involves people always away from their desks

Every person you ask for job leads says, "I wish I had some job leads"

Co-workers are now talking seriously about jobs at K-Mart or Wal-Mart

Your co-workers are greeting each other with "How's the job search ?"

Your Stockbroker's phone has been disconnected

The paper says your divorce lawyer has been indicted

The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard

Your new temp turns out to be your ex-wife

Your son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business

You go over to your girlfriend's place and she's in bed with a woman

Your Sicilian Uncle kisses you good morning... once on each cheek

You jump out of bed in the morning and miss the floor

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles

Your dentist looks into your mouth and says, "Oh my God !"

The tax assessor is walking around your house smiling

Your wife got a subpoena from Kenneth Starr

Two local TV crews are setting up satellite dishes on your front lawn

You see the mailman coming up the walk, with a gun in each hand

There's a personals ad with your phone number and your pet nickname

Your Mother-in-Law is coming up the walk with a stack suitcases in tow

You wake up to 32 inches of snow, no electric & you're out of cigarettes

Your son announces he's decided to study ballet and give up football

You wake up to a Nurse who's saying, "Now just remain calm."

Your wife tells you she's decided to study interior designing

The only thing in your e-mail box is spam

You look out the front window and N.O.W. pickets are in front of the house

The Lottery Commission says they made an error in giving you 17 million

You wake up and Bush is still President