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Philosophy Today

ON DEEP THOUGHTS
A day without sunshine is like night

ON HIGHER EDUCATION
College is a fountain of knowledge... and the students are there to drink

ON MATERIALISM
He who dies with the most toys, is, never-the-less, still quite dead

ON CHEMISTRY
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity

ON THE GOOD OLD DAYS
Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be

ON EQUALITY
All things being equal, fat people use more soap

ON ECONOMICS
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity

ON REVISIONIST HISTORY
What was sliced bread the greatest thing since ?

ON DATING
When finding a common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero

ON MATERIAL SCIENCE
Character density: The number of very weird people in the office

ON EXTINCTION
Save the whales. Collect the whole set now while you still can

ON LITERATURE
Some novels are not to be tossed aside lightly, they should be thrown with great force

ON THE FALL OF ROME
The Empire fell because lacking zero, they had no way to develop computers

ON PROPHECY
The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are too weak to refuse

ON HUMAN RELATIONS
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism

ON ACTION
He who hesitates is probably right

ON MEDICINE
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it

ON FOODSTUFFS
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread

ON DISCOMFORT
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach

ON PRODUCTIVITY
Work is accomplished by employees who haven't reached their level of incompetence

ON HEREDITY
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard

ON LIFE
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it

ON SUCCEEDING
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends

ON BUSINESS
Employ teenagers - while they know everything

ON TEENS
Adolescence is the time between puberty & adultery