You know you're Net addicted when...

Any campground without a T-1 line is off your vacation itinerary

Your wife calls you to dinner by posting to alt.food

You have an I.V. stand next to your mini tower

Your big pickup line is, "Haven't we met on alt.top.mountain ?"

Batteries in the TV remote now last for months

You send in your humor submissions while in the air over Oregon

You're on every known auto notify list for Net related betas

You now have more phone lines than your local 911 center

You hire a housekeeper for your home page

You know more people on the Net than you do in real life

"New mail" alarm on your palmtop annoys other churchgoers

Your mouse-clicking forearm rivals Popeye's

AT&T names you Customer of the Month for the third consecutive time

You unsuccessfully try to download a pizza from www.dominos.com

You're now buying generators instead of Uninterruptable Power Supplies

When your wife says she's going shopping, you tell her you're using the computer

Your family begs you to check into www.bettyford.com

Your toilet can alert you if you receive any mail while you're "offline"

You're surprised to learn people still chat in person

You read inane "You know you're Net addicted when..." jokes