Wedding Night "Don'ts"

Anything starting with: "I never told you this before..."

Why do you think I bought the video camera yesterday in the first place ?

Welcome to slavetown; population -- you

The ropes are for the bondage session

Hey, next time we're in church, your mother will be dead

I think you have just enough in savings to pay off my credit cards

Here, wear these

Did I ever tell you why my high school nickname was Pee Wee ?

Your Mother really overeats at buffets, huh ?

I think I'm really in love with your sister

Now this is illegal in most states, but...

How much life insurance do you have ?

Thank god - no prenuptial agreement !!!

Did I ever tell you I was thinking about a sex change operation ?

Now this may hurt at first, but you'll get used to it

Is that it ??? I've had lots better many times

Does your Father always drink that much ?

Ya think the Minister really believes all that "Love is..." crap ?

I thought sure your cousin Nancy was gonna pop right out of that dress

With your salary, I can quit work and stay home now

Be there in a minute, first I gotta finish my e-mail

Your Father paid for the wedding, he could have sprung for this too

Get out of that gown as soon as you can, you're sweating and you stink

Just check out the pictures of the different positions we'll be using

Your family doesn't "dress-up" very often, do they ?

Now for a week of sun, surf and sex

Yes, I was looking at their boobs, that's why they wear those dresses

I always drink a six pack or two before bed

What's the nightgown for ? You won't be needing those ever again

Unpack what ? I plan to buy all new clothes