The Gas PumpTwo aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached the gas pumps and one of them said to it "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
The gas pump, of course, did not respond. The alien repeated the greeting and there was still no response. Annoyed by what he perceived as the gas pump's haughty attitude the alien drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings earthling, we come in peace. How dare you ignore us this way? Take us to your leader or I will fire."
The other alien shouted to his comrade, "No, you must not anger him..." but before he could finish his warning the first alien fired. There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 metres into the desert where they landed in a heap.
When they finally regained consciousness the one who fired turned to the other one and said "What a ferocious creature. It nearly killed us. How did you know it was so dangerous?"
The other alien answered, "If there is one thing I have learned in my travels through the galaxy it's if a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick in his own ear, don't screw with him."