QuickiesQ. Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A. Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor-lock.
Q. What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A. Spitting, swallowing and gargling
Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a "quickie," only you do it yourself.
Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Q. What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A. No one to talk to during orgasm.
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!
Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.
Q. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade: Who has the biggest tits?
A. The blonde, because she's 18.
Q. The three words most hated by men during sex?
A. "Are you In?" or "Is It In?"
Q. Three words women hate to hear when having sex
A. "Honey, I'm home!"
Q. Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A. Peeing in the bath is disgusting.
Q. Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
A. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.