Accountants

What's the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Songs Accountants Like
"Don't Be Accrual", "Account Your Many Blessings", and "Adjust Called to Say I Love You"

There are three types of accountants?
Those who can count . . . and those who can't.

What does an accountant use for birth control?
His personality.

When does a person decide to become an accountant?
When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to sell insurance.

What's an extroverted accountant?
One who looks at your shoes instead of his own shoes when he's talking to you.

What's an auditor?
Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.