Holey CowA woman died and went to heaven. As St. Peter was processing her, she heard a woman screaming in pain. She looked in a room and saw a group of angels drilling holes in the woman's shoulders to fasten the wings to her. Then she heard a man screaming and saw angels drilling holes in his head to fasten the halo to him.
"I don't want to go to heaven," she told St. Peter. "I'll go to the other place."
"You want to go to hell?" he replies. "They rape and sodomize you down there."
"I don't care," she answered. "At least I already have holes for that."