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Why does Dolly Parton have such a small waist?
Because nothing grows well in the shade.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What two things in the air can make a blonde pregnant?
Her feet!

Whats pink and slowly turns red?
A baby chewing a razor blade.

I have learned that if you upset your wife she nags you.....
If you upset her even more you get the silent treatmeant.
Don't you think it's worth the extra effort?

What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.

What do you call a mushroom that buys all the drinks?
A fungi to be with.

What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
1 U.S. leader

What do Fred Flintstone and Osama bin Laden have in common?
They both live next to rubble!