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Thunks

If a mute swears does his mother wash his hands out with soap?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

When you open a big bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

If a funeral procession is at night, do people drive with their lights off?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

If you were a poor Aztec with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me."

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?