It appears your style sheet is either incompatible with this web page or you have stylesheets turned off. Therefore these web pages may not look as I intended, but they will still be readable.
Wombat Creek
Main PageHome
Joke Menu 1Menu 1
Joke Menu 1Menu 2
Joke Menu 1Menu 3
Joke Menu 1Menu 4
Joke Menu 1Menu 5
Joke Menu 1Menu 6
Joke Menu 1Menu 7
Joke Menu 1Menu 8
Joke Menu 1Menu 9
Joke Menu 1Menu 10

Disorder in the Court

Most language is spoken language, and most words, once they are uttered, vanish forever into the air. But such is not the case with language spoken during courtroom trials, for there exists an army of courtroom reporters whose job it is to take down and preserve every statement made during the proceedings.

Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
What was he doing with the dog's ears?
Picking them up in the air.
Where was the dog at this time?
Attached to the ears.

When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?
MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.

And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. O.K.?
What school do you go to?
How old are you?

What is your relationship with the plaintiff?
She is my daughter.
Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?

...and what did he do then?
He came home, and next morning he was dead.
So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?

Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?
He didn't offer me nothing; he just said I could have the furniture.

So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?
I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
It was covered?
Yes, bandaged.
Then, later on.. what did you see?
I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.

Could you see him from where you were standing?
I could see his head.
And where was his head?
Just above his shoulders.

What can you tell us about the truthfulness and veracity of this defendant?
Oh, she will tell the truth. She said she'd kill that son-of-a-bitch - and she did!

Do you drink when you're on duty?
I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.

...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
The victim lived.

Are you sexually active?
No, I just lie there.

Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Yes, I have been since early childhood.

The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas?
No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.

What is the meaning of sperm being present?
It indicates intercourse.
Male sperm?
That is the only kind I know.

(Showing man picture.) That's you?
Yes, sir.
And you were present when the picture was taken, right?

Was that the same nose you broke as a child?