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A Little Male Bashing!

Why do men become smarter during sex?
Because they are plugged into a genius.

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.

Why did God put men on earth?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Why don't women have men's brains?
Because they don't have penises to put them in.

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
They're intended for children but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

Why do men masturbate?
It's sex with someone they love.

Why were men given brains larger than dogs?
So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Why did God make man before woman?
She needed a rough draft before she made the final copy.

Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
So he can tell if he is coming or going.

How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.

Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Even at that stage they won't stop to ask directions.

What do men and sperm have in common?
They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A Widow

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire.

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They are all married.