Quickies

What did the egg say to the boiling water?
"It might take me a while to get hard I just got laid last night."

Why do Canadians only have sex doggie style?
So they can both watch the hockey game!

WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
Because they are plugged into a genius

"I never would have married you if I knew how stupid you were!" shouted the woman to her husband!

The husband replied, "You should've known how stupid I was the minute I asked you to marry me!"

Yo mama is so fat she uses a pillow for a tampon.

What did the Ethiopian say when the skeleton fell on him?
Get off me you fat bastard.

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?
One kisses the Mrs and the other misses the kisses.

How can you pick dolly Partons kids out in a crowd?
They're the ones with stretch marks around their lips!