WOMAN: A Chemical Analysis
|Atomic Mass||Accepted as 118, but known to vary from 100 to 460 lbs.|
|Occurance||Copius quantities in all urban areas|
- Surface usually covered with painted film.
- Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
- Melts if given special treatment.
- Bitter if incorrectly used.
- Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
- Yields to pressure when applied to correct points.
- Has great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
- Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
- May explode spontaneously if left alone with a Male.
- Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol.
- Most powerful money-reducing agent known.
- Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
- Can be great aid to relaxation.
- Pure specimen turns a rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
- Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
- Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
- Illegal to possess more than one.