Bumper Stickers We Need...

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.