One Liners

I am the root of some evil... send some money.

The buck doesn't even slow down here!

Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer.

Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.

Oh, no! Not ANOTHER learning experience!

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

Don't question authority..... It hasn't got a clue!!!!!

Advice is free: The right answer will cost plenty.

He who laughs last is S-L-O-W.

Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!

Multitasking = screwing up several things at once.

Looking for a helping hand? There's one on your arm.

Don't take life too seriously, it's not permanent.

Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

The trouble with political jokes is they get elected.

A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking.

Nothing's impossible for those who don't have to do it.

History is a set of lies agreed upon by the Victor.

After four decimal places, nobody cares.

One good turn gets all the blankets.

Almost all loan officers have artificial hearts.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

War never decides who is right, only who is left.

A job is nice but it interferes with my life.

'Criminal Lawyer' is a redundancy.