Quotes

One of the joys we find in life is buying things. Because we like to read the instructions. We particularly like the ones that start off by congratulating us for buying the item.

There are some strange instructions out there, however, as reported in BA’s great in-flight magazine recently:

. . . a hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping

. . . a sleep aide:"
Warning: may cause drowsiness

. . . a bar of soap:
Use like regular soap

. . . a frozen TV dinner:
Serving suggestion: defrost

. . . a hotel room’s courtesy shower cap:
Fits on head

. . . a box of tiramisu dessert, printed on bottom of its package:
Do not turn upside down

. . . a bread pudding:
Product will be hot after heating

. . . packaging for an iron:
Do not iron clothes on body

. . . children’s cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery

. . . a bag of crisps (potato chips):
You could be a winner. No purchase necessary. Details inside

. . . a packet of peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts

. . . another packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts

. . . a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only

. . . a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children

. . . a child’s Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly