The Best Bumper Stickers:

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an idiot.

SMILE! It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

The only reason you are alive is because it's illegal to kill you.

WANTED! Meaningful overnight relationship.

My wife's other car is a broom.

Practice safe sex - GO F*** YOURSELF!

Horn broken - Watch for finger!

Ignorance is Bliss!! Why aren't you happy?

Losing a Wife Is Hard - In My Case It Was Damn Near Impossible!