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Bill Gates - Heaven and Hell

Bill Gates dies and heads up to the pearly gates (no relation). Saint Peter meets him there and says, "Well, you've led an...interesting life, Bill. To be perfectly honest, we're not quite sure which place to send you. So we're going to let you decide."

Gates swallows nervously and says, "Okay". St. Peter snaps his fingers and they are instantly transported to a sunny beach. There's beer and rock music and topless women playing volleyball. Gates says,"Hey, is this heaven? It's GREAT!" St. Peter says,"No, this is Hell. Let me show you what Heaven is like." He snaps his fingers again and they are instantly transported to a serene city park. There's a soft breeze and birds are chirping and old people are sitting on benches feeding pidgins and playing chess. Gates says,"Well, this is... nice. But, given a choice, I guess I'll take Hell."

St. Peter says,"You got it," and snaps his fingers. Gates is instantly embedded in molten lava where his skin is flayed off in unspeakable agony. All around him he can hear demonic laughter and the screams of the damned. He looks up and shouts,"Hey, it wasn't like this! Where's the beach? Where're the babes?"

Saint Peter looks down from his Macintosh and says, "Sorry, Bill. That was the demo."