Holy WaterFour nuns have just died, but before they can go up to heaven they must confess their sins to St Peter. The first one approaches and St Peter says, "What are your sins, sister?"
"Oh forgive me Father for I have sinned." Thrusting forth her finger she says, "This finger has touched a penis."
St Peter grumbles, "Oh sister, shame. Very well - go up to the bath of holy water, dip your finger in and then go up to heaven."
The sister goes to the holy bath, dips her finger in, and goes to heaven. The second nun then approaches with her right arm extended.
"Forgive me St Peter, for am I ashamed to admit that this hand has touched a penis."
"Oh, goodness, goodness, sister. All right, very well then, go up to the bath of holy water, dip your hand in, then go up to heaven."
So she goes to the bath, dips her hand in, and then goes up to heaven. The third nun begins to approach St Peter, when suddenly the fourth nun bursts from behind her and sprints at a breakneck pace towards the bath of holy water. When she gets there Peter is amazed to see her dunk her head in, as if bobbing for apples.
St Peter runs up to the holy bath, and with indignant bewilderment screams, "Sister, what in Hell do you think you're doing?"
The renegade nun responds, pointing to the third nun, "Forgive me St Peter, but I wanted to gargle before she stuck her bum in it."