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Go Ugly Early

For your information, just in case you need it.
The technique, for all men who are desperate for a shag, is to chat up the ugly birds early in the evening when you are sober and stick with them. Unlike the more usual technique, of chatting up the pretty ones when you are sober and only moving on to the ugly ones later in the evening, GUE has a close to 100% success rate. The technique has 10 key advantages:

1) (Out of necessity) you get pissed quicker.

2) They are immensely flattered as they have never been chatted up before by a sober person with teeth, hair and/or money and without spots and a weight problem - (if you suffer from some or all of these afflictions, they won't mind too much anyway).

3) By the time you get incoherently pissed they will laugh and not sneer at your jokes - they will also ensure you get them to a bed safely as they are even more desperate than you are.

4) By the end of the evening, they look just as gorgeous when you go home with them as they would if you had tried and failed to pull them later in the evening after chatting up prettier women first.

5) You have time to get them pissed enough for guaranteed action. Out of a combination of gratitude and compensation for their appearance they will do things in bed (or the bar/night-club/street/taxi) that many pretty women would never dream of (except with an A-list Hollywood star or billionaire).

6) No solution, apart from 8 pints at lunchtime, has been found for the coyote effect in the morning but a shag's a shag, and you will never know what fun can be had with different body shapes unless you try

7) In the morning always ask for their phone numbers. Because no-one has ever asked for them before they will eagerly give you their home, work and mobile phone numbers, If you promise to call them they will be so overexcited they will usually forget to ask you for your numbers and you thus avoid having to ever contact or see them again.

8) With the passage of time, you will always remember them as much better looking than they were.

9) Practice makes perfect and after a stream of successes with the ugly birds your confidence and pulling skills will have increased sufficiently to move on to their better looking cousins. You will have more success than pre-GUE as all men get the same proud "just shagged look" from shagging ugly birds as pretty ones. Pretty women will only be able to tell that you are in demand and throw themselves at your feet.

10) All ugly girls have pretty friends who despise them and love stealing their boyfriends.