The Pope in AustraliaThe Pope was touring Australia and took out a couple of days from his itinerary to visit the northern tropics and the outback. Deep into his visit, his 4WD Popemobile was driving alongside a river, when he heard some splashing up ahead. As he drew close, the Pope observed in the river, an Aboriginal man struggling frantically with a crocodile, who had grasped the poor guy in its powerful jaws.
At that moment, from around the river bend, a speedboat roared into view, containing three people - Bruce Ruxton, Arthur Tunstall and Pauline Hanson. As the speedboat neared the struggling figures, Pauline Hanson took aim and fired a harpoon into the crocodiles hide. Then Ruxton and Tunstall pulled the man from the jaws of the crocodile and using long clubs, beat the crocodile to death. They bundled the semi-conscious man onto the speedboat, as well as the dead croc and then approached the river-bank.
Pope was impressed by what he had witnessed, so he went up to greet them. He said "I give you my blessings for your brave actions. I had heard that there were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide Australia's community - but now I can see that your society is a truly enlightened example of racial harmony and could serve as a model for other nations to follow."
As the Popemobile drove off, Pauline Hanson asked the others: "Who was that?"
Ruxton answered: "That was his holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."
Pauline Hanson: "Well, he knows sweet f*** all about crocodile hunting! What condition is the bait in?"